April 15th 2011 - Day of Silence

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Mut ist Feuer. Mobbing ist Rauch.

Note: English version of this blog here.
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Sag NEIN zu Mobbing

Ein Video von

Jamie und Maggie

(16 Jahre alt)

Musik:

Sigur Ros, ARA BATUR

Dieses Video wurde zur Erinnerung an Kelvin gemacht.

Sag NEIN zu Mobbing.

Steh' für die Schachen ein.

"Mut ist Feuer. Mobbing ist Rauch." 

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Dieses Video wurde vorgestern an meinen YouTube-Channel Kelvinwontcry2 gesendet. Die 16 Jahre alten Zwillinge Jamie and Maggie aus England, die dieses Video produziert haben, sind seit dem 10. April 2010 Freunde und Abonnenten von Kelvinwontcry2.

Zusammen mit dem Video schickten sie mir den folgende Mail:

"Hallo.
Mein Name ist Jamie. Meine Zwillingsschwester und ich haben Deinen Channel vor ein paar Monaten entdeckt und waren sehr berührt von Deinen Videos und von dem, was Du mit Kelvin erlebt hast. Seitdem sind meine Schwester und ich sehr aktiv geworden im Kampf gegen Mobbing.

Wir haben kürzlich dieses Video hier gemacht und beschlossen, es Kelvin zu widmen, weil seine Geschiche unser Leben so sehr berührt hat. Weil Du der Auslöser von alledem bist, haben wir uns gedacht, dass wir das Video gerne mit Dir teilen möchten. Es ist nicht gerade das tollste Video der Welt; schließlich ist es unser allererstes Projekt. Aber wir möchten es trotzdem mit Dir teilen.

Viele Grüße,
Maggie and Jamie
(16 Jahre alt)"

Es ist schwer in Worte zu fassen, wie sehr ich berührt und bewegt war, als ich mir ihr Video anschaute. 

Maggie und Jamie haben nicht nur großartige Arbeit geleistet in Bezug auf das Sammeln äußerst ausdrucksstarker Bilder, dem Editieren des Videos, und indem sie ein wunderbares Lied gewählt haben, das den Bildern zu noch stärkerer Wirkung verhilft. Ihre Arbeit zeigt darüber hinaus, und beinahe vollkommen ohne Worte, wo Mobbing den verheerendsten Schaden anrichtet:

In den Herzen und den Seelen der Opfer ... wo man keine blauen Flecken sehen kann und keine gebrochenen Knochen spüren.  Der Schmerz, der zugefügt wird, kann nicht mit  Medizin behandelt, mit einem Pflaster versorgt, oder durch Salben geheilt werden.

Mobbing verursacht Wunden in Opfern, die sie für ihr ganzes Leben zeichnen und verkrüppeln.

Man kann die Signale dafür wahrnehmen, wenn man die Augen öffnet und die Opfer  anschaut,  wenn man die Ohren nicht verschließt, sondern ihnen  zuhört,  und wenn man sein Herz öffnet und  mit ihnen fühlt.  Wenn man dies tut, dann wird man die Zeichen sogar wahrnehmen, wenn kein Wort gesprochen und keine Bitte um Hilfe geäußert wird ...

... Und dann weiß man, dass man gebraucht wird.

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Jamie und Maggie haben ein wichtiges und bewegendes Video geschaffen. Niemand, der es anschaut, wird davon unberührt bleiben. Und indem sie es Kelvin gewidmet haben (oder Kel, wie er sich selbst stets genannt hat), haben sie ihm ein unglaublich wunderbares Geschenk gemacht und damit sein Andenken geehrt.

Wenn Kel noch bei uns wäre, und wenn er Gelegenheit hätte, dieses Video anzuschauen, dann würde er weinen ... Ja, ich weiß, dass er  viel  weinen würde. Denn er würde seinen eigenen Schmerz, und das, worunter er so lange zu leiden hatte, hier abgebildet sehen.

Aber trotzdem würde Kel dieses Video lieben - wegen der kraftvollen Botschaft, die es enthält. Und am Ende würde Kel trotz seiner Tränen lächeln, denn er wusste (aus eigener Erfahrung!), dass es möglich ist, sich gegen Mobber zu behaupten, "Nein!" zu sagen und schlussendlich dem Mobben ein Ende zu setzen.

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Courage is Fire. Bullying is Smoke. 
Mut ist Feuer. Mobbing ist Rauch.

Jamie and Maggie


Bullying No Way! 
Keine Chance für Mobbing!

Jaylen Arnold (Jaylen's Challenge)


I'll make it, you'll see!

Ich werde es schaffen, Du wirst schon sehen!

Kel

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Courage is Fire. Bullying is Smoke.

Anm.: Deutsche Version dieses Blogs hier.

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Say NO to Bullying

A video made by

Jamie and Maggie

(age 16)

Music:

Sigur Ros, ARA BATUR

This video was made in memory of Kelvin.

Say NO to Bullying.

Stand up for the weak.

"Courage is Fire. Bullying is Smoke." 

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This video was sent to me yesterday via my YouTube channel Kelvinwontcry2. The makers of the video, 16 year old twins Jamie and Maggie from England, have been friends and subscribers to the channel since April 10th 2010. 

Along with the video they shared with me, they sent the following message:

"Hey there.
My name is Jamie. My twin sister and I came across your channel a few months ago and were very touched by your videos and experience with Kelvin. Since then, she and I have become very active in the fight against bullying.

We recently made a video and we decided to dedicate it to Kelvin since his story touched our lives so much. Since you were the reason behind it, we just thought we'd share it with you. Its not exactly the greatest video since it's our first, but we just thought we'd share it anyway.

Sincerely,
Maggie and Jamie
(age 16)"

It is hard to put into words, how much I was touched and moved when I watched their video. 

Not only have they done an awesome job in every aspect of collecting immensely expressive pictures, editing the video and choosing a wonderful song to complement the images ... In addition to that, their work shows almost without words where Bullying causes the most devastating damage:

In the heart and the souls of the victims ... where you will not see bruises, or feel broken bones. The hurt that is inflicted there cannot be treated by medicine, patched up by a bandage, or be helped to heal by ointments.

Bullying can cause devastation in a human being that scar and cripple them for life.

You can see the signs, if you look at them with your eyes, listen to them with your ears, and feel with them, by opening your heart. If you do so, you will notice the signs even when no word is said, and no pledge for help is spoken out ...

... And you will know that you are needed.

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Jamie and Maggie made an important and moving video. No one who watches it will remain untouched. And by dedicating it to Kelvin (or Kel, as he used to call himself), they made a tremendously special tribute to him, honouring his memory.

I know that Kel, if he was still with us, and had the chance to watch this video, would cry ... yes, I know he would cry  a lot.  Because he would see portrayed what hurt him so much for so long.

But still, Kel would love this video - because of the powerful message that it holds. And Kel would smile through the tears in the end, because he knew (and from his own experience!), that it is possible to stand up against bullies, to say "No!", and to finally end Bullying.

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"Courage is Fire. Bullying is Smoke."

Jamie and Maggie

"Bullying No Way!"

Jaylen Arnold (Jaylen's Challenge)

"I'll make it, you'll see!"

Kel

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Jaylen Arnold and Dash Mihok live on Toginet Radio

This is a three piece video I made from an interview, that nine year old anti bullying campaigner Jaylen Arnold, his Mom Robin Arnold and Jaylen's co-campaigner, Hollywood actor Dash Mihok, gave on February 24th 2010, on the show

LEARNING AND LAUGHTER WITH LOUISE

on Toginet Radio.

Jaylen, Dash and Robin talk about Tourette's, about Bullying and about what Jaylen's dream is:

To end bullying, once and for all!

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Please visit Jaylen's official website and get the latest news on Jaylen's campaign work, read Jaylen's blog, and register as a forum member, to exchange experiences, thoughts and ideas on Tourette's, Bullying and much more.

You can also go there to personally support Jaylen's cause, by making a donation, and get your own BULLYING NO WAY wristband!

Please also check out Jaylen's YouTube channel and subscribe :-)!

Jaylen was featured on CBS News this year - please check out the video !


If you want to get the latest news about Hollywood actor and Tourette's / Anti-Bullying campaigner Dash Mihok, check out his official website!


Check out the trailer to Dash's latest movie LIFTED.

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This three piece video was made by
Michael / True
aka Truedantalion / Kelvinwontcry2


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Anti-Bullying: Respect the Snowflakes! (Blog entry #100)

The above video is an impromptu collaboration between YouTuber Peter Oaklay aka geriatric1927 (the number here being his year of birth!), that we made on the occasion of the "No Bulling" week in Great Britain last November.

We had a talk about two ideas I had, how YouTube could finally start to offer people who get harassed by cyber-bullies, trolls and whatnot real support and show them that not they, the victims, are the ones who need to change things (for example by giving up their channels, to get rid of bullies!), but that the YouTube community, represented by the site's provider (aka YouTube!) has to stand up to the responsibilities they have for the safety and well-being of their community members.


In response to that, I was contacted by a student, who had to hold a lecture on Bullying at her school. She asked me for a few thoughts on the subject, and so, I wrote the following kind-of essay on Bullying.

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I think it is most important that victims of bullies need our attention, our support and our help. But not to fight battles in their stead!

We need to, say, "empower" victims, boost their self-esteem, and their trust in themselves — because that's what gets shattered so much, by being bullied.

They need to see that there are people ...

1.) who listen to what the victims have to say, and take them for serious

2.) who try to also feel what the victims feel (their fear, their sadness, their shame, and their need for help), and take them for serious with that as well

3.) who, after listening and feeling, start to think about what they got to know and

4.) who then try to say things that might be of help

All of those four steps are needed, have to be done in that particular order, and none may be omitted.

And the important thing is: Superficial advice like "Shrug it off!" or "A boy does not cry, be tough!" is of no worth at all - better save your breath, if nothing better comes to your mind. Be honest instead, and admit that you share the victim's feeling of being clueless and speechless about the gruesome situation at this moment.

You have to show the victim that ...

- he / she can and must get help (by informing the school authorities, for example, who are in charge and responsible for the safety of their students, and will have to answer if someone gets abused!), so they do not stand alone on the situation that is so terrible for him.

- what a bully says and does is NOT RIGHT, and the bully HAS NO RIGHT to treat anybody like he does — mental and physical abuse are substance for criminal persecution, as soon as someone is old enough to be persecuted, but they are NOT RIGHT, either, as long as this person is still too young for that!

- someone who gets bullied is no second class person who "deserves" to be anyone's toy, just because he cannot stand up alone against physical or mental brutality.

- he / she is able to stand up against abuse, because he / she is not alone, even if they may feel lonely.

For those who become witness to others being bullied, it is important to not look away, but to be there and help. And the more do that, the easier it gets ... this is a golden rule for so many things in life!

Be there ... object ... say "Stop!" ... get help ... stand in the way of a bully.

This will force the bully to re-think his strategy - and they don't like doing that :-)!

One person who helps a bully victim is awesome ... but why not have five, ten or twenty people be there, stand together and support someone? To show the bully that basically everyone except he himself disapproves of what he does, and that you will not leave your friend behind and alone in his troubles, but that you will get help and stop the bully from having his way?

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Those who bully are dangerous. They bring harm, and in what they do, they are strong ... because they act unfair to the max.

Those who do not bully others, and do not use methods of physical and mental abuse to stand up against others, may seem weak.

These people are like, say, snowflakes.

If a bully tries to catch and crush a single snowflake, he will do so without problem. He will also manage to do so with two or three snowflakes falling from the sky at a time. But let him try doing that with ten snowflakes at a time he wont be able to. They are too many, and they can do things he can't prevent. They will get past him, at least a few, and reach their goal!

The goal of a snowflake is to fall to the ground. If we see ourselves as human snowflakes, our goal should be to help someone in need, not by using force, but by getting help, by outweighing a bully in sheer numbers, but without fighting back, and, by this, making it impossible for him to keep up his reign — simply because he  is only one person, but the snowflakes are many … too many for him to handle, if they all act on a common goal.

Ever seen what an avalanche does?

An avalanche is a gazillion of snowflakes, being set into motion by a trigger, and doing so by simply following the laws of gravity.

And if we think of someone who goes skiing in the mountains, and yells around loud and nasty, although the sign posts say "Quiet, please" etc., to prevent any damage that is causes by a single person, this person's noise will maybe cause an avalanche to go down. Not to fight that person, not to harm him — that's not the intention of those snowflakes. They start sliding down the mountain only in reaction of what this person did, and because he did not stop, although there were rules and signs that told him otherwise.

And then, this person will be in trouble, and he will NOT be able to withstand this force with his usual strategies. He will have to retreat, and better do so quickly!

Why not be ... Human Snowflakes? Beautiful and soft, sweet to look at, not harming anyone - but in case of need, one Snowflake gets the support of many other Snowflakes, who are just there and stand in harm's way, or go around him, to get help from people who can help?

If many of us come to think that way, it is time for the Bullies to change their ways, finally, and to respect the Snowflakes :-)!

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A different and very important issue, though, is, that basically every bully somehow and at some point in his life has been, or still is, a victim, too. It may be in his family, by being abused and mistreated there, or in various other ways. These things, and specially the devastating effects they have on him, will be the best kept secrets of a bully.

Someone who gets hurt and feels miserable ever so often, will seek ways to relieve some of the pressure in his life. And if he (or she) cannot solve the problem that is at hand, cannot escape the situation that is painful and terrible, they will try to find people who feel just as bad as they themselves do, or possibly even worse. They will try to MAKE people feel that way, and therefore feel, all of a sudden, like they are STRONG, that they are not only doomed to endure pain, but also can inflict pain on others.

This may be a powerful motive for a bully to establish and keep up his reign of terror on others. Just to relieve some of the pressure that the bully feels.

And as long as the bully does not start working on his own situation there, he will remain in the position he is in — simply because he needs to have this vent for his heart and soul.

Therefore, punishing bullies, by, for example putting a bully into a boot camp, to mentally break him there and "reconstruct" him, will only lead to him (out of fear!) acting in different ways, and this means that the "game" starts anew, and nothing will really change:

The bully will only see that he acts more carefully, and will be more effective in threatening his victims from then on, to keep them from reporting him, so he won't get caught.

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Bullies are victims, too, and they need help, not only reprimands. They have to be stopped hurting people, yes - but they need more than that. They need help in the effort of getting to the source, and to solve the real, the basic problem. And this is ever so often an even far more complicated task.

Still: It is just as important as to help the victims.

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Jaylen Arnold and Hollywood actor Dash Mihok hit the news: "Bullying? No Way!"

Watch this news feature from

www.baynews9.com

on a presentation that

nine year old activist

Jaylen Arnold

("Bullying? No Way!")

and

Hollywood actor

Dash Mihok

(ROMEO AND JULIET, I AM LEGEND)

made at

Bartow Elementary Academy

on Tourette's Syndrome and Bullying.

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And please don't forget to take a look at

Jaylen Arnold's YouTube Channel

and subscribe :-)!

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"Bullying? No Way!" - Get Your Avatar Banner Today!

Bullying ...

... a serious issue, that affects more and more people around the globe, offline and online, young and old.

You have the possibility to make a statement, to make yourself heard and known, to put your foot down and say:

"Bullying? No Way!"

Every one of us is only a single person. But so is every Bully out there.

Bullies are aggressive, derogative and mean. Bullies hurt people.

But they are only so many.

We, who disapprove of what they do, and who possibly even got bullied ourselves once on a while (or still are?) - we are many. We are legion

And yet: We are like Snowflakes. Is that a bad thing?

Well, yes and no ...

Each single one of us may be weak, and no match to a Bully. We may get hurt, and, very well, even crushed by them.

But: We are many. Many Snowflakes, who can be there for each other, support each other and help each other out. Many Snowflakes, who can unite, and set a powerful sign.

Many Snowflakes ... who can create an avalanche - just by being there, and by no longer accepting the ways of those who overstep rules, who torment those they deem weak and who get their kicks from making other people feel bad.

Let's create this avalanche. Let's set a sign. Let us all be a part of this, and say:

"Bullying? No Way!"

Respect the Snowflake ...

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Please check out my video directly on YouTube.

You can find all information and the respective links

in the video's info box.

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