Welcome - willkommen!


Blogging in English und auf Deutsch.
English: A key topic of this blog certainly is Bullying, and what can be done against it.
Deutsch: Ein Kernthema dieses Blogs is ganz sicherlich Mobbing, und was dagegen getan werden kann.
E: There are still lots of other topics here, too - feel free to cruise around and take a look :-)!
D: Es gibt aber auch noch viele andere Themen - schaut Euch einfach um :-)!
E: I look forward to comments on my blog entries!
D: Ich freue mich über Kommentare zu meinen Blog-Einträgen!

In the banner picture: Libera.
Showing posts with label boy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boy. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2011

Imaginary Friend


Imaginary Friend

Short Movie
USA 2006

Written and directed by

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Starring

(Paul)

(Lucy)

(Mom)

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Many children have an imaginary friend for a while. All of a sudden, they are just there, although no one except the child they are friends with can see them, of course - well, that's kinda the concept, right? And one day, they vanish from the childs' life again, because they are no longer needed ... or  wanted  there.

Here is the story of such an imaginary friend. What makes this movie remarkable is that the story is indeed  told from  his  perspective.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wenn Mobbing zu viel wird: "Und dann bin ich tatsächlich ausgerastet!"

English version of this blog here.
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Dieser Blog-Post enthält vier Videos mit News-Features aus dem australischen Fernsehen.

... ein wenig Extra-Zeit ...
Für den Text in diesen Videos kann ich leider kein Transkript erstellen, übersetzen und dann hier einstellen; das würde den Rahmen sprengen.

Ein Mitschüler hat die Auseinandersetzung zwischen Mobber und Opfer, die dann komplett umschlug und sehr massiv wurde, mit dem Handy gefilmt. Dieses Video kommt in den News-Features mehrmals vor.

Ich bitte meine deutschsprachigen Leser mit wenig oder keinen Englischkenntnissen, sich trotzdem ein wenig Extra-Zeit zu nehmen und die News-Features anzuschauen, um einen Eindruck dessen zu bekommen, was passiert ist, und wer die beiden beteiligten Jugendlichen sind. Durch meinem folgenden Text fügen sich die Dinge dann hoffentlich zusammen. Falls Fragen offen bleiben: Bitte einen Kommentar schreiben; ich antworte dann bestmöglich.

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Eine kurze Zusammenfassung dessen, was hier passiert ist:

Vor einigen Tagen hat der Fall eines Jungen, der über viele Jahre hinweg in der Schule gemobbt wurde, großes Interesse der Medien erregt.

Der 16-jährige Casey Heynes aus Australien hat sich gegen einen anderen Jungen gewehrt, der in angegriffen hat und dabei ins Gesicht und in den Bauch schlug.

Der 12 Jahre alte Richard Gale, der der Angreifer war, wurde plötzlich selbst attackiert, von seinem Opfer, das älter und stärker als Richard ist.

Casey ist über viele Jahre hinweg
in der Schule gemobbt worden.
Und so kommt es, dass er,
auf die Frage, warum er getan hat was er tat,
folgendes sagte:

"... und dann bin ich tatsächlich ausgerastet!"

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ACA News-Feature über Casey Heynes (16), das Opfer



ACA News-Feature über Richard Gale (12), den Bully / Mobber



ACA News-Feature über den Jungen, der den Vorfall gefilmt hat,
mit zusätzlichen Informationen




Ein Interview mit Richards Mutter,
sowie Kommentare von Nachbarn und Schülern
zu den Methoden,
mit denen die Schule, auf die Richard und Casey gehen,
gegen Mobbing vorgeht

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Was sind hier nun die eigentlichen (und ernsten) Probleme,
die hier vorliegen?

1.)  Binäres Denken
... 0 und 1 ... Schwarz und Weiß ... Helden und Schurken ...

2.)  Leute, die wegschauen
... Ich bin für Dich da ... außer, wenn Du mich wirklich brauchst ...

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Die Reaktionen auf YouTube, Facebook und so weiter, wie sie in den News-Features beschrieben werden, in denen sich die Leute über Caseys "heldenhafte Tat" äußern, erschrecken mich und machen mich besorgt.

Ein Opfer, das
 über viele Jahre hinweg missbraucht und terrorisiert wurde, und das
schlussendlich "ausrastet", ist kein Held.

Casey hat nicht für all die anderen Mobbing-Opfer, die es gibt, und die genau so wie er selbst leiden, Vergeltung geübt, und er tat es auch nicht im symbolischen Sinne. Und noch viel weniger bildet er mit seiner gewaltsamen Handlung ein Beispiel dafür, und dient als Vorbild, wie man mit einer solchen gravierenden Missbrauchs-Situation umgehen soll!

Casey ist ein lebendes und herzzerreißendes Beispiel für jemand, der wieder und wieder bis an seine Grenzen getrieben wurde, und der keinerlei Hilfe und Unterstützung an seiner Schule bekommen hat, wie er selbst erklärt. Vor einem Jahr hat er sogar über Selbstmord nachgedacht.

Was dann schließlich passiert ist, als er sich an diesem Tag gegen Richard gewehrt hat, war ein Akt der Verzweiflung, und die massive Kraft, die er in diesen paar Sekunden entfesselt hat und die in dem Video dokumentiert wird, hätte dem Jungen, den er attackierte, großen Schaden zufügen können.

Was Casey getan hat, geschah ganz definitiv in Selbstverteidigung, daran besteht kein Zweifel. Und dies ist auch mehr als verständlich, wenn man die Situation bedenkt, in der er sich befand ... Doch wie die Dinge sich dann abgespielt haben, erinnert an einen Schnellkochtopf, der seit langem auf einer glühend heißen Herdplatte steht und von dem urplötzlich der Deckel wegplatzt, wodurch der ganze im Inneren aufgestaute Druck auf einen Schlag freigesetzt wird!

Hätte Caseys "Body Slam" mehr Schaden angerichtet als nur das geprellte Knie, das Richard davongetragen hat, dann hätte Casey wohl mit einer Anzeige rechnen müssen.  Und jeder Richter hätte bei dieser massiven Attacke eines 16-jährigen (der viel größer und stärker ist als sein 12-jähriger Widersacher) entschieden, dass die Verhältnismäßigkeit der Mittel nicht gegeben war; Casey hätte in diesem Fall dann aller Wahrscheinlichkeit nach ein hohes Strafmaß bekommen.

Und dann wäre das Opfer, das nur versucht hat, sich zu verteidigen, um aus einer traumatischen und sehr peinlichen Situation zu entkommen, ganz plötzlich selbst zum Täter geworden, ohne dies zu wollen ... aber trotzdem mit der Aussicht auf möglicherweise drastische Konsequenzen.

Wo ist hierbei wohl Heroismus zu finden?
Ich kann nur entdecken, dass die Gerechtigkeit nach hinten losgeht,
und damit die Qualen noch verstärkt werden von jemandem,
der doch sowieso schon so lange zu leiden hatte.

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Andererseits macht mich die Dämonisierung von Richard, die auf YouTube, Facebook und andernorts geschieht, wütend - wegen der Ignoranz der Leute, und wegen ihrer Unfähigkeit (oder Unwilligkeit!), in diesem Fall hier mehr Schattierungen zu sehen als einfach nur Schwarz und Weiß.

Und außerdem macht mich das Ganze sogar noch  besorgt  um Richard, wegen der emotionalen Belastung, die er jetzt durchmachen muss (durch die ganzen Hass-Kommentare, die er bekommt). Ich fürchte sogar um seine körperliche Unversehrtheit, wenn ich die enorme Masse von Drohungen und Hassmeldungen bedenke, die Richard von einer unzählbaren Menge von Leuten bekommt, die alle denken, dass sie etwas zu der Sache beizutragen haben ...

Diese Leute  haben  nichts beizutragen.

Denn Binär-Denker,
die nur in Schwarz und Weiß sehen und denken können,
sind nicht in der Lage,
und aus diesem Grund nicht berechtigt,
ein Urteil über andere Menschen zu fällen, oder über Dinge,
die vielschichtiger sind,
die mehr Schattierungen aufweisen als nur Hell und Dunkel
für deren Verständnis ein Mensch sensibel sein muss,
sowie Einsicht und Mitgefühl empfinden können,
um mit ihnen umgehen zu können.

Richard, daran besteht kein Zweifel, hat sich falsch verhalten, indem er Casey verspottet, angegriffen und geschlagen hat. Aber es ist nicht die Aufgabe eines Online-Mob, nun Hasstiraden zu verbreiten und einen 12-jährigen mit sinnlosen und mehr als unhöflichen Kommentaren zu bedrohen!

In dieser Situation, von der wir hier sprechenm und die als Video dokumentiert wurde, hat  Richard zu einem System beigetragen, das anscheinend an dieser Schule gut eingespielt war:

Er profitierte von der Tatsache, dass Casey ein Opfer war  -  jemand, der wieder und wieder gemobbt wurde und vollkommen demoralisiert war, sodass er es nicht wagte, sich irgendjemand anzuvertrauen oder um Hilfe zu bitten; Casey traute sich nicht einmal, sich gegen jemand zu behaupten, der mehrere Jahre jünger war und dem Älteren in Sachen Stärke keinesfalls gewachsen.

... Hat Richard Casey angegriffen, weil Casey Richard zuvor tatsächlich verspottet hatte? [Anm.: Dies sagt Richard in den Interviews im zweiten und dritten Video]

... Handelte es sich um einen Angriff auf jemand, von dem bekanntermaßen keine Gegenwehr zu erwarten war und mit dem Richard ohne Risiko seinen "Spaß" haben und vor seinen Freunden cool dastehen konnte?

... Oder ist Richard ein Junge, der selbst ebenfalls von anderen gemobbt wird, und der den gleichen Druck und Schmerz wie Casey fühlt? Hat er nach einem Ventil gesucht, nach einer Möglichkeit, seine eigene Frustration abzubauen und sich dabei auch einmal "stark" zu fühlen, indem er sich gegen jemand aufspielte, der nicht zurückzuschlagen wagte?

Dies sind nur ein paar wenige der Fragen, die mir in den Sinn kommen, wenn ich über diesen Fall nachdenke. Ich kann allerdings nicht belegen, ob diese Vermutungen teilweise oder ganz der Wahrheit entsprechen.

Und deshalb gebe ich auch kein Urteil ab. Denn dies steht mir nicht zu. Und es steht auch jenen Tausenden und Abertausenden menschlichen Heißluft-Gebläsen nicht zu, die jetzt ihre Stimmen erheben, boshafte Kommentare und Drohungen herausbellen und sich selbst zu Richtern erklären.

Nichts für ungut, meine Herren und Damen Richter ... Aber Eure Verbundenheit mit dem Begriff "Gerechtigkeit" beginnt und endet auch gleich wieder mit dem einzigen Detail, das Ihr mit der Göttin Justitia gemeinsam habt:

Ihr tragt eine Augenbinde.

Aber anders als bei der Göttin besteht der Stoff, mit dem Eure Augen verhüllt sind, aus Vorurteilen, Ignoranz, Verächtlichkeit und Arroganz.

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Die einzige Sache, die sich herauskristallisiert bei alledem, was in dem voriiegenden Fall geschehen ist, und der exemplarisch für so viele Mobbing-Opfer in aller Welt steht, ist Folgendes:

Unglaublich oft stehen sie alleine da und haben niemanden, der ihnen in ihrer Bedrängnis hilft. Keiner steht für sie ein, niemand zeigt Mitgefühl, niemand unterstützt sie.

Casey wurde in seinem Interview gefragt, wie es sich denn anfühle, plötzlich 100.000 Leute auf seiner Seite zu haben, die ihn in ihren Online-Kommentaren und auch in seiner unmittelbaren Umgebung anfeuern, die ihn jetzt unterstützen und ihn einen Helden nennen.

Meine Frage ist:

Wo waren diese Leute in Caseys realem Leben, die ihm jetzt zujubeln? Wo waren sie während all den Jahren, in denen Casey gemobbt wurde? Alle die, die wussten, dass er ein Opfer war und jeden Tag misshandelt wurde - die es wussten, weil sie es  sahen?  Seine Mitschüler, und sogar die Lehrer an seiner Schule ... Viele von ihnen wussten davon, da bin ich mir sicher. Aber niemand kümmerte es. Niemand unterstützte Casey. Alle schauten weg, und keiner bot Hilfe an oder setzte sich für Casey ein.

Ich spreche jetzt nicht von den 100.000 Leuten aus dem Internet, die mehr oder weniger angemessene Kommentare abgeben.

Ich spreche von den Leuten aus Caseys wirklichem Leben, die  da  waren, an jedem Tag, die Casey aber im Stich gelassen haben - und die jetzt aus ihren Löchern gekrochen kommen und ihn triumphierend auf ihren Schultern herumtragen.

Eine Schule, an der ein Junge über Jahre hinweg massiv misshandelt wird (wie wir in dem Interview mit Casey gehört haben), und wo weder Mitschüler noch Lehrer jemals von sich aus etwas tun um zu helfen, weil sie entweder nichts merken, weil sie nicht sensibel genug sind, um die Anzeichen zu erkennen - oder schlicht und ergreifend lieber bewusst wegschauen ...

Eine solche Schule ist ein lebensfeindlicher Ort, an dem Kinder in Gefahr sind - in Gefahr, Schaden an Leib und Seele zu nehmen.

Und es ist dies ein Ort, wo jeder der Nächste sein kann auf der "Einkaufsliste" eines Mobbers, der "frisches Fleisch zum Klopfen" braucht. Denn es kümmert ja keinen, und Mobber können anscheinend tun, was sie wollen, weil Opfer es offensichtlich nicht wert sind, dass man sich für sie einsetzt.

An einem solchen Ort, wo Opfer nicht auf Unterstützung oder Hilfe hoffen können, werden sie durch die Hölle gehen, genauso, wie Casey es tun musste. Und ein jedes solches Opfer kommt möglicherweise irgendwann an einen Punkt, wo er oder sie "ausrastet".

Derart missbrauchte Kinder und Jugendliche "rasten aus" und wehren sich dann vielleicht mit Gewalt gegen andere - und riskieren damit einen Schulausschluss, und möglicherweise sogar eine Anzeige wegen Körperverletzung. Wenn sie auf diese Arten bestraft werden für das, was sie getan haben, ist die eine Sache, die für sie nach hinten losgeht.

Aber sie verlieren auch noch auf eine andere Weise, und zwar vom moralischen Standpunkt aus, denn sie benutzen dann ja genau die gleichen Methoden wie die Mobber, indem sie anderen Schmerzen zufügen und ihnen Angst machen ... und so setzt sich die Kette des Mobbings fort, und aus dem Opfer kann ein neuer Täter werden.

Durch Mobbing traumatisierte Kinder und Jugendliche können aber auch an einen Punkt gelangen, wo sie es schlicht und ergreifend nicht mehr ertragen können gemobbt zu werden. Und dann "rasten sie aus" und richten möglicherweise Gewalt gegen sich selbst, durch auto-aggressives Verhalten, und in letzter Konsequenz, indem sie sich das Leben nehmen.

Dass sich solche finalen Szenarien zutragen können, wenn ein Kind "ausrastet" ...


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Sunday, March 27, 2011

When being bullied gets too much: "... and then, I actually snapped!"


Deutsche Version dieses Blogs hier.
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You will need to bring a few minutes of extra time for this blog.

It contains four video interviews that are crucial to the topic, and I need you to watch them first, before reading my final thoughts on them.

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To give you an initial heads up:

Just a few days ago, the case of a boy who has been bullied for many years in school has become an object of massive public interest.

16 year old Casey Heynes from Australia fought back against another boy who attacked and punched him in the face and in the belly.

12 year old Richard Gale, who had been the attacker, all of a sudden found himself counter-attacked by his victim who is older and stronger than Richard.


Casey has been through many years of being bullied at his school.
And so it is that, when being asked
why he had done what he did,
Casey explained:

"... and then, I actually snapped!"

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ACA News feature on Casey Heynes (16 years old)



ACA News Feature on Richard Gale (12 years old)



ACA Feature on the kid who filmed the incident
plus additional info




An interview with Richard's mother
plus feedback from neighbors and students
on Richard's and Casey's school's
anti-bullying policy

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So, what are the real and serious problems here?

#1  -  Binary thinking 
... 0 and 1 ... Black and White ... Heroes and Villains ...

#2  -  People who look away
... I am there for you ... except if you really need me ...

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The massive reactions on YouTube, Facebook and so on, as described in the News Features, that people utter for Casey's "heroic deed", startle and worry me.

A victim that
 has been abused and terrorized for years, and
finally "snapped", is not a hero.

Casey does not retaliate for (or on behalf of) all the other bully victims out there who suffer like he does. And even less, he sets an example and is a role model for others by his act of violence, of how to deal with situations of massive abuse!

Casey is a vivid and downright heartbreaking example of someone who was driven to the edge over and over again, and who got no help and support at his school, as he himself states. He even contemplated suicide a year ago. What he did when he fought back against Richard that day, was an act of desperation, and the massive power that was unleashed by him in those few seconds that are documented in the video could have caused major damage with the boy he attacked.

What Casey did was an act of self-defense, no doubt. More than understandable, seeing the situation he was in ... But how things happened then, was like if suddenly the lid of a pressure cooker (that has been sitting on a hell-hot stove plate for years! bursts off and  releases all the stored up pressure inside in one single blow!

Had Casey's "body slam" caused more damage than the bruised knee that Richard suffered, Casey would have had to face charges. And every judge would have ruled that by this massive attack of a 16 year old (who is much bigger and stronger than his 12 year old opponent) the appropriateness of the means had not been given, and Casey would have received a heavy sentence for sure.

And then, the victim, who tried to defend himself, to get out of a traumatic and massively embarrassing situation, all of a sudden would have become a perpetrator himself, without intention to do so ... but facing massive consequences, possibly.

Where would be the heroism in this?
I can only see justice backfiring,
and adding up to the torment of someone
who had to suffer for so long already.

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The demonization of Richard on YouTube and Facebook etc. on the other hand makes me angry - for the ignorance of people, and their lack of ability (or willingness!) to see more shades than just Black and White here.

And it makes me  afraid  for Richard even, for the emotional strain that he has to go through now (by this massive amount of hate messages he gets), and possibly even for his physical safety, if we consider the amount of hate reactions Richard got from an innumerable mass of people who think they have something to contribute here ...

They don't.

Because Binary Thinkers,
who can only see and think in Black and White,
are not able,
and therefore not entitled,
to pass judgment on persons and events
that have more layers to them,
more shades than just Light and Dark,
that require sensitivity to understand,
and insight and compassion to deal with.

Richard, there's no doubt about this, has done wrong, by taunting, attacking and punching Casey. But it is not the task of an online mob to spread hate, and threaten a 12 year old by senseless and more than rude Facebook and YouTube comments.

In that situation we are talking about here, and that has been documented on video, Richard chipped in to something that obviously was well-established at this school: 

He benefited from the fact that Casey was a victim, who had gotten bullied over and over again, who had no friends, and who was completely demoralized, so that he would not dare to tell anybody or ask for help, and not even stand up to a kid who was several years younger than he and who is definitely no match to Casey, strength wise.

... Did Richard attack Casey because Casey had actually harassed him before?

... Was it an attack on someone who would not fight back, by which Richard wanted to have some "safe" fun, and look cool to his friends?

... Or is Richard a kid who also gets bullied by others, who feels the same pressure and pain as Casey? Was he searching for a vent, for a possibility to let off frustration, and feel strong for once, by acting up on someone who would not dare to fight back?

These are just a few of the questions that come to my mind when I think about this case. I cannot know, though, if any of these assumptions holds some truths.

And this is why I don't pass judgment. Because it is not my place to do so. Just as well as it is not the place of all the thousands and thousands of wind blowers who raise their voice now, bellowing spiteful comments and threats, and make themselves judges.

Sorry, judges ... But your affiliation with the term "justice" starts and ends with one single fact that you have in common with the figure of the goddess of justice:

You are blindfolded.

Yet, unlike with the goddess, in your case the cloth that blocks your view is made of prejudices, ignorance, contempt and arrogance.

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The only thing that crystallizes out from all that happened in this case (that stands exemplary for so many bully victims all over the world) is:

Ever so often, they stand alone, and have no one to help them in their distress. No one stands up for them, no one shows compassion, no one supports them.

Casey was being asked in his interview how it felt to all of a sudden have 100,000 people in his corner who cheered for him in their online comments and now also in Casey's real life surroundings, who supported him now and called him a hero.

My question is:

Where were those people in his real life, who are cheering now, during the years while Casey was being bullied? Those who knew that he was the victim of abuse every day, because they saw it? His fellow students, and also the teachers at his school ... Many of them knew, of that I am sure - but no one cared. No one supported Casey then. Everyone looked the other way, no one offered help, or just stood up for Casey.

I'm not talking about some 100,000 people from the Internet now, who make more or less appropriate comments.

I am talking about real life people who were there, every day and who failed on Casey  -  but who now come out of their holes and carry him around on their shoulders.

A school where a boy gets harassed massively for many years in a row (as we heard in the interview with Casey), and neither fellow students nor teachers do anything to help, because they either don't notice, as they are not sensitive to see the signs  ... or, plain and simple, rather look the other way ...

Such a school is a hostile environment where kids are in danger - in danger of suffering damage to their bodies and their psyche.

And it is a place where everyone can be next on the shopping list, if a bully needs fresh meat to beat. Because no one cares, and bullies can do what they want, as victims obviously are not worth stepping up for.

In such a place, where victims cannot hope for any support or help, they will go through hell, as Casey did. And they may come to that point where they "snap" ...

Abused kids may "snap" and fight back by using violence against others - risking to be suspended from school, and possibly getting sued for an act of bodily harm. Being reprimanded for what they did is the one thing that will backfire on them. But they will also be losing on their cause, from the moral point of view, as they used the exact same methods of the bully, by inflicting pain and fear on another kid ... and so, the chain of bullying continues, and the victim may become a perpetrator.

Abused kids may also come to a point where they simply cannot stand the bullying any more, and they "snap" by using violence against themselves, showing auto-aggressive behaviour, and possibly, in the final consequence, by ending their lives.

Either of those two final scenarios, when a kid finally "snaps" ...


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Friday, February 18, 2011

Ulrik Munther, BOYS DON'T CRY



Ulrik Munther
BOYS DON'T CRY

Have you ever done something you can't change?
Something you can never rearrange?
I have, I have ...
Have you ever felt so sad you can hardly stand?
Lying on the ground, head in your hands?
I have, I have ...

I can feel it all down deep inside
But oh, I want to let these feeling rise

But boys don't cry
But boys don't cry
I know it will be fine
But boys don't cry

Have ever tried to smile and hide your pain
Even though you're really not okay?
I have, I have ...
Have you ever been caught in the pouring rain
Wondering if anything can ever feel the same again, yeah

You try to be proud of who you are
But still you got to let those teardrops fall away

But boys don't cry
But boys don't cry
I know it will be fine
But boys don't cry

Have you ever done something you can't change?
Something you can never rearrange?
I have, I have ...
Have you ever felt so sad you can hardly stand?
Lying on the ground, head in your hands?
I have, I have ...

Boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

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Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Girl who silenced the World for 5 Minutes

Deutsche Version dieses Blogs hier.
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This is a speech held at the Earth Summit 1992 in Rio de Janeiro,
by, back then, 12 year old Severn Cullis-Suzuki from Canada.

The video recording of this speech has become known as

"The Girl who silenced the World for 5 Minutes"

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Hello, I'm Severn Suzuki speaking for E.C.O. - The Environmental Childrens Organisation. We are a group of twelve and thirteen-year-olds trying to make a difference: Vanessa Suttie, Morgan Geisler, Michelle Quigg and me.

We raised all the money ourselves to come five thousand miles to tell you adults you must change your ways. Coming here today, I have no hidden agenda. I am fighting for my future. Losing my future is not like losing an election or a few points on the stock market. I am here to speak for all generations to come.

I am here to speak on behalf of the starving children around the world whose cries go unheard.

I am here to speak for the countless animals dying across this planet because they have nowhere left to go.

I am afraid to go out in the sun now because of the holes in the ozone. I am afraid to breathe the air because I don't know what chemicals are in it.

And now we hear about animals and plants going extinct every day — vanishing forever.

In my life, I have dreamt of seeing the great herds of wild animals, jungles and rainforests full of birds and butterflies, but now I wonder if they will even exist for my children to see.

Did you have to worry about these little things when you were my age?


All this is happening before our eyes and yet we act as if we have all the time we want and all the solutions. I'm only a child and I don't have all the solutions, but I want you to realize, neither do you!

1. You don't know how to fix the holes in our ozone layer
2. You don't know how to bring salmon back up a dead stream
3. You don't know how to bring back an animal now extinct
4. And you can't bring back forests that once grew where there is now desert

If you don't know how to fix it, please stop breaking it!

Here, you may be delegates of your governments, business people, organizers, reporters or politicians - but really you are mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles - and all of you are somebody's child.

I'm only a child yet I know we are all part of a family, five billion strong, in fact, 30 million species strong.

I'm only a child yet I know we are all in this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal.

In my anger, I am not blind, and in my fear, I am not afraid to tell the world how I feel.

In my country, we make so much waste, we buy and throw away, buy and throw away, and yet Northern countries will not share with the needy. Even when we have more than enough, we are afraid to share, we are afraid to let go some of our wealth

And this is what one child told us:

"I wish I was rich and if I were,
I would give all the street children food, clothes,
medicine, shelter and love and affection."

If a child on the street who has nothing, is willing to share, why are we who have everything still so greedy?

I cant stop thinking that these children are my age, that it makes a tremendous difference where you are born, that I could be one of those children living in the Favelas of Rio; I could be a child starving in Somalia; a victim of war in the Middle East or a beggar in India.

I'm only a child yet I know if all the money spent on war was spent on ending poverty and finding environmental answers, what a wonderful place this Earth would be!

At school, even in kindergarten, you teach us to behave in the world. You teach us:

1. not to fight with others,
2. to work things out,
3. to respect others,
4. to clean up our mess,
5. not to hurt other creatures,
6. to share - not be greedy.

Then why do you go out and do the things you tell us not to do?

Do not forget why you're attending these conferences, who you're doing this for — we are your own children. You are deciding what kind of world we will grow up in. Parents should be able to comfort their children by saying everything's going to be alright, it's not the end of the world and were doing the best we can.

But I don't think you can say that to us anymore. Are we even on your list of priorities?

My father always says: "You are what you do, not what you say."

Well, what you do makes me cry at night.

You grown-ups say you love us.
I challenge you:
 Please make your actions reflect your words!

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Monday, January 24, 2011

A new video on Kel's channel



This song is sung by Meydad Tasa,
a young renowned singer from Israel.
For more information about him, his career
and about the albums he already recorded,
please check out Meydad's official website:

http://www.meydadtasa.com/index.html



Music from Meydad Tasa
can be found
here!

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After quite a while, this is the first upload I made on my YouTube channel Kelvinwontcry2. The idea to do so has been in my head for many months, but only now, I could finally realize this project.
I did not want to upload this video for it's religious contents, and neither did I want to make a whatsoever political statement on the obviously never ending dilemma that takes place in Israel, with the struggles between Jews and Palestinians. The channel that I established in memory of Kel is not the place for such topics.

To me, the main message of this video that reaches me most, goes much deeper, straight to a very basic and inner level - and this message has a very strong relation to Kel.

Many of my viewers, subscribers and friends on Kelvinwontcry2, who have been talking with me (in comments and many messages) about Kel, and who thereby got to know him a little, may see some of the aspects that I mean. If you have any thoughts on that, or also questions, please feel free to leave a comment, either here, or in the video's comment section on YouTube; your feedback will be much appreciated.

Sadly, I never got to share Meydad's song with Kel while he was still alive. This is why I want to do this now, because I know Kel would have related very strongly to those innermost elements I mentioned above, and he would have loved this song and also Meydad very much  -  just as I do.




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Friday, November 5, 2010

Gregor Schmidinger, THE BOY NEXT DOOR (2008)




"I saved $25 ... Do you want to be my friend?"

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THE BOY NEXT DOOR
(USA 2008)

Written & directed by
Gregor Schmidinger


Cast

Mark
Michael Ellison

Justin
Truman Chambers

Jack Brown (Justin's father)
Damon Preston


"Mark, a 25-year-old male prostitute who suffers from anxiety attacks accidentally runs into the 10-year-old son of one of his clients. When the boy tells him he is looking for his father Mark, taken by surprise, wants nothing to do with him. But while they wait for the client to return Mark realizes that maybe this unexpected guest was exactly what he needed. Over the course of the night this strange new friendship grows and gives both Mark and Justin the courage to overcome their fears and face their own personal demons."


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The short movie "The Boy Next Door" was written and produced as an in-class project made by Bowling Green State University student Gregor Schmidinger. In 2009, the short movie was shown on festivals all over the place. And in the beginning of 2010, Schmidinger uploaded the movie to his YouTube Channel.

"The Boy Next Door" is supposed to be taken to the next level, by being turned into a full feature movie. The project is in the works, but it needs support. In his vlogs and on the movie's official website, Schmidinger explains what fans of the short movie and everyone interested in the project can do to support the upcoming film.

So, if you like: Click the playlist above, check out the short movie, and the vlogs (2 of them up to now, but I will keep the playlist updated), and get involved as you see fit.

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Visit
Gregor Schmidinger's YouTube channel
and subscribe

Visit
"The Boy Next Door" - Official Website
and get involved

Visit
"The Boy Next Door" - Officia Facebook Fanpage
and "Like" it
... sounds funny :-))) ...

Visit
Gregor Schmidinger's Blog
and get more in depth info

Visit
"The Boy Next Door" - Official IMDb page
for additional details (to come) on the project

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Friday, October 29, 2010

Where freedom of speech ends - a bully forced to resign




Original uploads made by YouTuber
SuchIsLifeVideos

He does amazing work on his channel,
so please subscribe to him!


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Clint McCance, 31, Midland School Board Vice President in Arkansas, came into the focus of attention on October 26th 2010, by outrageous comments on his Facebook concerning the suicides of gay young teenagers in the US.

Find the story here:
http://gayrights.change.org/blog/view/arkansas_school_board_member_says_gay_students_should_get_aids_and_die

and see a PDF of the original Facebook page here:
http://www.hrcbackstory.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/ClintMcCance-Facebook-image.pdf

A massive wave of protest was the result of these contemptuous and brutal statements that the school official had made, and by that giving the worst of possible examples to kids and parents alike, and showing clearly where hate and prejudices of bullies come from...

... because kids learn by example.

Last night, McCance was interviewed on "Anderson Cooper 360°" (CNN). Watch for yourself how tried to defend what he did, and made attempts of apologizing.

And also see what the parents of one of Asher Brown (who shot himself a short time ago, at the age of 13, after having been bullied for years) have to say on this matter. I can only begin to imagine how they felt ...

Due to the massive pressure he had gotten under for his Facebook comments within only two days, Clint McCance announced that he will resign from his post as Vice President of the Midland School Board - what a petition with tens of almost 100,000 signatures within a few days (!) had demanded.

On Sunday, October 31st 2010, Clint McCance submitted his letter of resignation to the Midland school board. He was officially removed from his office on November 1st 2010.

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

When the chain of bullying continues ...

Deutsche Version dieses Blogs hier.
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During my research for my video "It is okay if you're gay ... Stop bullying now", I collected news and mentions of cases of gay teens losing their lives, and I set the range to the years 2008, 2009 and 2010. And going through this time, I remembered vividly how much certain news I had stumbled upon during those days had shaken me ... as they reported about things that should never happen to anyone - but still, they do, and have dreadful results.

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The death of 15 year old openly gay Lawrence "Larry" King came to my attention back in 2008, as I am a fan of Ellen de Generes. She had made an announcement on her show, stating that "when the message out there is so horrible, that to be gay you can get killed for, we need to change that message."

Larry had been shot by a fellow 8th grader named Brandon, because Larry had asked Brandon to be his Valentine.

This case hit the media hard, and was reported upon nationwide and even beyond the US. The video of Ellen's announcement got loads of views and came to my attention on YouTube, by the back then still active site function "Related Videos".

I shared the video with quite a few people, and the reaction was always the same: Shock and dismay, and genuine sadness about what had happened there - that a young life had been lost, and for the tragedy that had hit Larry's family. And there was also compassion for the boy who had killed Larry, and for his family, because their lives would never be the same, too.

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So, in 2008, it was one story that came to my attention, and that had taken me aback. Because this is not something you hear about every day. Still, it was a singular event I heard about, and as I did not research for similar news back then, it was the only story of that kind that came to my attention. By Ellen's statement, a wave of compassion and awareness had been triggered, and it was to be hoped that things might be influenced a little bit to the better.

They might have been so - influenced to the better, I mean. But change does not come from statements alone, as intense, heartfelt and true they may be ... Change comes from what people who hear them take from such stirring messages, and what they decide to change in their lives, and how they react to matters, in order to really make things become different.

In 2009, though, and again without searching, I came across not one, but two cases of kids losing their lives due to them being harassed for their sexual orientation - or what others chose to see in them, and call them, and did not approve of. This time, the nature of the violence inflicted was a different one, although the result in the end was the same.

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11 year old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover killed himself, after being bullied for months, accused of being gay and picked on for that every day at school.

Carl took the abuse as long as he could; he told his Mom about it finally, and she went to the school officials immediately. The principal asked Carl to reveal the names of those kids who taunted him - but as being a "snitch" or a "tattle tail" obviously is an even worse stigma still than being accused of being gay, Carl did not want to report the bullies at first; instead he tried to somehow cope with what was thrown at him every day. He was afraid that any reprimand from the principals office would not stop the bullies in what they were doing to him, but they then would come even harder on him, for Carl having reported them.

But in the end, he simply could not take it any more ... and so, he hanged himself upstairs, while his mother was cooking dinner; when she came to call him for the meal, she would find him dead.

The news about Carl's tragic death came to me by accident, when I was checking an article on an online news website for something else. It was not the leading headline, but it caught my eye anyhow. And when I saw the "Share with Facebook" button embedded with this message, I decided that this was what I needed to do.

By posting this news there, I actually started to use my Facebook on a regular basis ... until then, I had hardly been there, as I had established it only on request of a friend of mine, Portuguese-Scottish writer Ricardo Pinto, who needed a first few friends to add him there, to get his own Facebook started a year before.

Since that day, my Facebook has become fairly active.

And only later, I found out that Ellen had responded to the death of Carl, by inviting his Mom Sirdeaner L. Walker to the show, and had been talking with her about what had happened and also what Mrs Walker's way of dealing with the loss of her son was: To go out and try to help other bullying victims, as well as working and campaigning to help establish real, systemic, effective responses to the endemic problem of bullying and harassment - in her own words:


"If anything can come of this, it's that another child doesn't have to suffer like this and there can be some justice for some other child. I don't want any other parent to go through this."

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A second suicide of an 11 year old kid made the news in 2009, too: Jaheem Herrera was bullied at school for being gay; kids made fun of his accent, his looks, and him liking dance and the arts, which made him "different" in their eyes.

And to sum all of that up, the label "gay" was good enough for those kids to cover that, and to make Jaheem something that, a little bit longer than a year before, Ellen had stated she was not and Larry King was not ...

In the eyes of those bullies, Jaheem had indeed become a second class citizen, on who to pick and who to taunt was "okay" - and obviously no one of the other kids thought it necessary to stand up against this, and to help Jaheem.

If at all, the school reacted to the complaints of Jaheem's mother with the usual reprimands to the bully - but an hour or two of detention has never changed anyone for the better, and made him stop doing what brought him into this temporary predicament. The bullying continued, and finally, Jaheem, just as Carl, could not take it any more.

It was the second anti-gay induced suicide of an 11 year old kid I heard about in 2009. In retrospect, I remember being stunned and saddened by what had happened, and the fact that this was the second case of a similar nature made things even heavier ...

______________________________


But only when, in early fall 2010, a series of not less than four suicides within only weeks, of three gay teens and one 18 year old gay young man brought Ellen to make a new statement on her show ...



... I suddenly saw a line that was there - but it was not the sheer connection of all those cases by having similar circumstances.

First of all: What I had read and heard about, and quoted here, is only a tiny fraction of the terrible damage bullying causes every day, in schools all around the world. And bullying does not only afflict gay kids and teens. Basically everyone can become a victim.

But still - if I am taking those above mentioned cases as empiric examples, two things show up for me:

For one, it was the fact that the numbers of those cases that came to my eye, even without me searching, had doubled from year to year ... 1 - 2 - 4 ... And had a case of manslaughter been the beginning of this row of events, the cause for gay kids to die then turned to those kids ending their own lives.

And this latter tragic turn, in my view, is co-caused by the fact that the intensity and brutality of bullying rises steadily. Bullies have less and less inhibitions to torture victims in more and more brutal ways. Apart from physical and mental harassment, cyberbullying in various forms adds to the picture. The pressure on victims rises, gets more and more intense and refined - and hearts and souls break.

The second reason I realized was there, is the fact that victims have to face more and more brutal abuse, but still stand alone in their distress and daily struggles.

Although everybody knows such things happen ... although everybody knows of cases at his own school ... although everybody can imagine how terrible it must be, to be trapped in that situation ... and although so many are genuinely moved and shaken by emotional and intense appeals like Ellen made them three years in a row ...

... there are still all of those out there who turn the blind eye, who do not come to help when they see others being treated in unfair and brutal ways. So many say that it is terrible what's going on, but obviously so many out there still don't realize that change does not come by itself!

Change comes ...
when victims are no longer left alone.

Change comes ...
when the bully's strategy of separating his victim by a reign of terror from every possible source of help and support (friends, teachers, parents) does not work any more.

Change comes ...
when the victim does not have to seek for help themselves (and do not dare to, because the bully's scheme works!), but have allies on their side who are simply there because they are needed, because things are going on that are not right, and that no one has the right to do to another person.

Change comes ...
when the silent majority finally makes that leap of faith, and stands up for others - not by fighting back, but

- by simply being there
- by not looking away
- by being a witness (and not only a bystander)
- by being in the way
- by saying No
- by getting more help if necessary ...
from friends, teachers, the principal, parents, the police, or whoever else is needed.

No one has to become a warrior here. Super heroes are not needed ... and, let's face it: Most of us won't look good in these flashy costumes!

But: There are rules, regulations and laws against basically all of the things that bullies do. Why are we afraid to call them in?

Victims are alone ...
Bullies are many ...
But the number of all the others is legion!

If all of us finally get to realizing this, change will come. If all of us start acting on what we all know is right, change will come.

And then, there will be no more cases like the one of Jaheem's sister, who not only lost her beloved brother, because he cold not stand living any more, but one year later still also got bullied herself on Jaheem's death.

When all of us start doing those simple things that are necessary, the chain of bullying can be broken. But: All of us are needed. It is a only a small leap of faith for every single one of us, if we all are in on this.




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Saturday, October 9, 2010

It is okay if you are gay ... Stop Bullying Now!




This is the follow-up video to

"It will get better - if we do something!"

which is my contribution for the project that was created
by writer and columnist Dan Savage.

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Bullying, brutality and violence against gay kids and teenagers costs lives. Every year, and everywhere in the world.

In 2008, talkshow host Ellen de Generes took up the case of 15 year old Lawrence "Larry" King, an openly gay teenager who had been killed by another teen, just for being gay. Ellen sent out a intense message on her show, calling out for equality, and against ignorance, prejudices and intolerance.

In 2008, this one case was all over the news. In 2009, though, it was the suicide of already two kids that everyone spoke about:

Carl-Joseph Walker-Hoover and Jaheem Herrera, who killed themselves, as they could not take any more suffering from anti-gay picking, teasing and bullying at school.

Carl-Joseph and Jaheem were only 11 years old.

Again, Ellen set an example, by taking up this devastatingly sad topic on her TV show, and by sending out a sensitive and all the same strong and emotional signal to all her viewers.

But 2010 saw even more suicides for anti-gay bullying in the media than the years before. Within only a few weeks and months, four gay teenagers ended their lives, and two more victims were to be mourned still, after Ellen, yet again, spoke out on her show.

With a campaign named "It gets better", initiated by writer and columnist Dan Savage, gay people upload videos, and by that step up and send out a message to kids and teens that it's worth to cling to life, because it holds so much in store for them, and to "tough it out" during High School, during which so much bullying happens.

But this message, this prospect of a better future, is not enough.

All of us need to start taking action, here and now, to support gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender kids and teenagers who get offended, abused and terrorized because they are "different" ... just as well as any other kid that suffers from being bullied needs our help!

We must help them, so they can make it to that future, living their lives and realizing their potential.

We must do all in our power, to stop bullying now!

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Music:
Immediate Music, SERENATA IMMORTALE

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Monday, September 6, 2010

Promises




Documentary
made in 2001

Written and directed by
Justine Shapiro
B.Z. Goldberg




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The feature film long documentary PROMISES was in theaters and won numerous prizes on film festivals all around the globe, before it was finally published on DVD in America.

It describes the everyday life of Jewish and Palestinian children in Jerusalem, facing the never ending state of civil war that wrenches Israel for so long now, and only brings pain and sadness to everyone involved.

B.Z. Goldberg, born and raised in Jerusalem, went to America and became a filmmaker. Years later, he returned to his native country and made this documentary where he shows how Jewish and Palestinian children live in this constant state of war. They describe their view of the situation, and of the people "on the other side of the fence".

Each of those kids first has clear and distinctive views about who in this conflict is "right", and who is "wrong". But during the interviews, some of the kids start asking questions, and develop an interest to personally get to know those kids beyond the Checkpoint ... And so, a groundbreaking (and dangerous!) experiment is waged. And those who participate in this venture, see things with different eyes afterwards.

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PROMISES is one of the most intense and moving and important documentary I have ever seen. After it had been around the world on festivals and in cinemas, it finally also was published on DVD in America.

In Germany, PROMISES has been shown on TV and has been for public sale on VHS tape only in the years 2003 / 2004. After that, the movie could only be purchased by schools, as teaching material (on a VHS tape, and for a outrageously high fee).

In 2011, this documentary will be one decade old - but the topic it deals with is still as present (and pressing!) as it has been for so long ... and the message of this documentary is timeless, and universal.

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"PROMISES stops you in your tracks. It reminds you that children are very connected to God. It is deeply touching and disturbing to see how alike all children are and how religion turns them into each others enemies. It is a movie that changes you."
(Mike Nichols, Film Director)
_

"Impressive, moving and deeply authentic. One of the best films about the Middle East I have ever seen. The rhythm of the editing leaves you at the edge of your chair. If I had my way, the next Middle East peace summit would start with a screening of PROMISES."
(David Grossmann, Israeli author)



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Saturday, September 4, 2010

Maman est chez le Coiffeur




Maman est chez le Coiffeur
(Mommy is at the Hairdresser's)

Drama
Canada 2008 (TV)

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Directed by
Léa Pool

Written by
Isabelle Hébert

Music by
Laurent Eyquem

Songs performed by
Élie Dupuis

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Summer 1966. It's time to enjoy the summer holiday, total freedom.

Teenage Élise discovers that the sudden departure of her mother completely disrupts the family. Her brother Coco seeks solace in the garage, building a super racing car. Her youngest brother Benoît throws himself into his own inner world. The father seems absolutely knocked out by the situation.

Élise decides to take control of her family, in an eloquent attempt to save them. With the assistance of flourishing nature around her, she stands on the threshold of an incomparable summer.

(from IMDb)

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Élie Dupuis
BANG BANG




Élie Dupuis
THE GREAT ESCAPE




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Monday, June 28, 2010

IVAN'S CHILDHOOD (1962)




IVAN'S CHILDHOOD
Russia 1962

directed by
Andrei Tarkovsky

Starring

Nikolai Burlyayev
Valentin Zubkov
Yevgeni Zharikov
Stepan Krylov
Nikolai Grinko
Irma Raush

Music
Vyacheslav Ovchinnikov

Cinematography
Vadim Yusov

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Ever so often, I discover things on YouTube by Related Videos of something I watched before, or also by the video recommendations on my Starting Page.

Today, I stumbled over a complete posting of Andrei Tarkowski's debut film IVAN'S CHILDHOOD from 1962. As I knew about the movie, but had not watched it, I took the time and did so. And I found reason enough to collect it in a playlist on my channel, and then also to make a entry here.

The movie is in Russian, with English subtitles.

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I had indeed watched several scenes from this movie before: In a fan-made video for the song THE BOY WITH THE GUN by David Sylvian.

Although the lyrics and the movie's plot don't match in detail, I found the video very amazing, as I loved the song, and was captivated by the intenity of the images. Hope you enjoy ...





David Sylvian
THE BOY WITH THE GUN


from the album
SECRETS OF THE BEEHIVE
1987

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

BROKEN CRAYONS (2009) - Official Trailer



BROKEN CRAYONS

A Hispanic boy named Sean, who has recently become an orphan, arrives at his new home, a small orphanage. He meets the teacher and headmistress and the kids that live there, and although at first sight, the surroundings seem idyllic, it becomes clear very soon that this place holds no love, compassion, friendship and trust among the inmates.

Trying to find his way there, Sean soon has to make a decision, whether to blend in with the others, or to speak up against an atmosphere of injustice and maltreatment on so many levels. But tragedy strikes, and leaves every one dumbfounded, aghast and helpless.

"A microcosm of America ..."
(Alessio Cappelletti, director)


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BROKEN CRAYONS
USA 2009
Short movie, written and directed
by
Alessio Cappelletti



Cast:

Anthony Gonzalez
"Sean Mendez"

Beth Campbell
"Miss Boaguard"

Josh Babb
"Bobby"

Huntter McGonigle
"Ashley Johnson"

Osmar Freire
"Michael"

Vinny Bonina
(aka YouTuber SingRKid)
"Samuel"

Kyle Bostrom
"Peter"

Andrew Terrero
"John"

Eric Halvarson
"Mark"

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Get your copy of
BROKEN CRAYONS
on DVD


Send an e-mail to
dotyfilm@gmail.com

The DVD is $5 + shipping & handling

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Please check out

DREAMS OF THE YOUTH

the upcoming full length feature movie
from the makers of BROKEN CRAYONS

in theaters soon

Become a fan of
DREAMS OF THE YOUTH on Facebook

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