Blogging in English und auf Deutsch. English: A key topic of this blog certainly is Bullying, and what can be done against it. Deutsch: Ein Kernthema dieses Blogs is ganz sicherlich Mobbing, und was dagegen getan werden kann. E: There are still lots of other topics here, too - feel free to cruise around and take a look :-)! D: Es gibt aber auch noch viele andere Themen - schaut Euch einfach um :-)! E: I look forward to comments on my blog entries! D: Ich freue mich über Kommentare zu meinen Blog-Einträgen!
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Clint McCance, 31, Midland School Board Vice President in Arkansas, came into the focus of attention on October 26th 2010, by outrageous comments on his Facebook concerning the suicides of gay young teenagers in the US.
A massive wave of protest was the result of these contemptuous and brutal statements that the school official had made, and by that giving the worst of possible examples to kids and parents alike, and showing clearly where hate and prejudices of bullies come from...
... because kids learn by example.
Last night, McCance was interviewed on "Anderson Cooper 360°" (CNN). Watch for yourself how tried to defend what he did, and made attempts of apologizing.
And also see what the parents of one of Asher Brown (who shot himself a short time ago, at the age of 13, after having been bullied for years) have to say on this matter. I can only begin to imagine how they felt ...
Due to the massive pressure he had gotten under for his Facebook comments within only two days, Clint McCance announced that he will resign from his post as Vice President of the Midland School Board - what a petition with tens of almost 100,000 signatures within a few days (!) had demanded.
On Sunday, October 31st 2010, Clint McCance submitted his letter of resignation to the Midland school board. He was officially removed from his office on November 1st 2010.
I am black, I am white
I am all skins in between
I am young, I am old
I am each age that has been
I am scrawny, I am well fed
I am starving for attention
I am famous, I am cryptic
I am hardly worth a mention
I am short, I am height
I am any frame or statue
I am smart, I am challenged
I am striving for a future
The colour of sky
Is blues and grays
The colour of earth
Is greens and browns
The colour of hope
Is rainbows and purple
And the colour peace
Is people together
Shades of life
People together
Shades of life
I am
I am able, I am weak
I am some strength, I am none
I am being, I am thought
I am all things, said and done
I am born, I am died
I am dust of humble roots
I am grace, I am pain
I am labor of willed fruits
I am slave, I am free
I am bonded to my life
I am rich, I am poor
I am wealth, of this strife
The colour of sky
Is blues and grays
The colour of earth
Is greens and browns
The colour of hope
Is rainbows and purple
And the colour peace
Is people together
Shades of life
People together
Shades of life
I am
I am shadow, I am glory
I am hiding from my shame
I am hero, I am loser
I am yearning for a name
I am empty, I am proud
I am seeking my tomorrow
I am growing, I am fading
I am hope amid the sorrow
I am certain, I am doubtful
I am desperate for solutions
I am leader, I am student
I am fate and evolutions
I am spirit, I am voice
I am memory, not recalled
I am chance, I am cause
I am effort, blocked and walled
I am many, I am no one
I am seasoned by each being
I am me, I am you
I am all-souls now decreeing
The colour of sky
Is blues and grays
The colour of earth
Is greens and browns
The colour of hope
Is rainbows and purple
And the colour peace
Is people together
Shades of life
People together
Shades of life
During my research for my video "It is okay if you're gay ... Stop bullying now",
I collected news and mentions of cases of gay teens losing their
lives, and I set the range to the years 2008, 2009 and 2010. And going
through this time, I remembered vividly how much certain news I had
stumbled upon during those days had shaken me ... as they reported about
things that should never happen to anyone - but still, they do,
and have dreadful results.
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The death of 15 year old openly gay Lawrence "Larry" King came to my attention back in 2008, as I am a fan of Ellen de Generes. She had made an announcement on her show, stating that "when the message out there is so horrible, that to be gay you can get killed for, we need to change that message."
Larry had been shot by a fellow 8th grader named Brandon, because Larry had asked Brandon to be his Valentine.
This
case hit the media hard, and was reported upon nationwide and even
beyond the US. The video of Ellen's announcement got loads of views and
came to my attention on YouTube, by the back then still active site
function "Related Videos".
I shared the video with
quite a few people, and the reaction was always the same: Shock and
dismay, and genuine sadness about what had happened there - that a
young life had been lost, and for the tragedy that had hit Larry's
family. And there was also compassion for the boy who had killed
Larry, and for his family, because their lives would never be the same,
too.
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So, in 2008, it was one story
that came to my attention, and that had taken me aback. Because this
is not something you hear about every day. Still, it was a singular
event I heard about, and as I did not research for similar news back
then, it was the only story of that kind that came to my attention. By
Ellen's statement, a wave of compassion and awareness had been
triggered, and it was to be hoped that things might be influenced a
little bit to the better.
They might have been so -
influenced to the better, I mean. But change does not come from
statements alone, as intense, heartfelt and true they may be ... Change
comes from what people who hear them take from such stirring
messages, and what they decide to change in their lives, and how they
react to matters, in order to really make things become different.
In 2009, though, and again without searching, I came across not one, buttwo
cases of kids losing their lives due to them being harassed for their
sexual orientation - or what others chose to see in them, and
call them, and did not approve of. This time, the nature of the
violence inflicted was a different one, although the result in the end
was the same.
______________________________
11 year old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover killed himself, after being bullied for months, accused of being gay and picked on for that every day at school.
Carl
took the abuse as long as he could; he told his Mom about it finally,
and she went to the school officials immediately. The principal asked
Carl to reveal the names of those kids who taunted him - but as
being a "snitch" or a "tattle tail" obviously is an even worse stigma
still than being accused of being gay, Carl did not want to report the
bullies at first; instead he tried to somehow cope with what was thrown
at him every day. He was afraid that any reprimand from the principals
office would not stop the bullies in what they were doing to him, but
they then would come even harder on him, for Carl having reported them.
But
in the end, he simply could not take it any more ... and so, he hanged
himself upstairs, while his mother was cooking dinner; when she came to
call him for the meal, she would find him dead.
The
news about Carl's tragic death came to me by accident, when I was
checking an article on an online news website for something else. It
was not the leading headline, but it caught my eye anyhow. And when I
saw the "Share with Facebook" button embedded with this message, I
decided that this was what I needed to do.
By posting
this news there, I actually started to use my Facebook on a regular
basis ... until then, I had hardly been there, as I had established it
only on request of a friend of mine, Portuguese-Scottish writer Ricardo Pinto, who needed a first few friends to add him there, to get his own Facebook started a year before.
Since that day, my Facebook has become fairly active.
And
only later, I found out that Ellen had responded to the death of Carl,
by inviting his Mom Sirdeaner L. Walker to the show, and had been
talking with her about what had happened and also what Mrs Walker's way
of dealing with the loss of her son was: To go out and try to help
other bullying victims, as well as working and campaigning to help
establish real, systemic, effective responses to the endemic problem of
bullying and harassment - in her own words:
"If anything can come of
this, it's that another child doesn't have to suffer like this and
there can be some justice for some other child. I don't want any other
parent to go through this."
______________________________
A second suicide of an 11 year old kid made the news in 2009, too: Jaheem Herrera
was bullied at school for being gay; kids made fun of his accent, his
looks, and him liking dance and the arts, which made him "different" in
their eyes.
And to sum all of that up, the label
"gay" was good enough for those kids to cover that, and to make Jaheem
something that, a little bit longer than a year before, Ellen had
stated she was not and Larry King was not ...
In the eyes of those bullies, Jaheem had indeed become a second class citizen,
on who to pick and who to taunt was "okay" - and obviously no one
of the other kids thought it necessary to stand up against this, and to
help Jaheem.
If at all, the school reacted to the
complaints of Jaheem's mother with the usual reprimands to the bully -
but an hour or two of detention has never changed anyone for the
better, and made him stop doing what brought him into this temporary
predicament. The bullying continued, and finally, Jaheem, just as Carl,
could not take it any more.
It was the second anti-gay
induced suicide of an 11 year old kid I heard about in 2009. In
retrospect, I remember being stunned and saddened by what had happened,
and the fact that this was the second case of a similar nature made
things even heavier ...
______________________________
But
only when, in early fall 2010, a series of not less than four suicides
within only weeks, of three gay teens and one 18 year old gay young
man brought Ellen to make a new statement on her show ...
...
I suddenly saw a line that was there - but it was not the sheer
connection of all those cases by having similar circumstances.
First
of all: What I had read and heard about, and quoted here, is only a
tiny fraction of the terrible damage bullying causes every day, in
schools all around the world. And bullying does not only afflict gay
kids and teens. Basically everyone can become a victim.
But still - if I am taking those above mentioned cases as empiric examples, two things show up for me:
For one, it was the fact that the numbers of those cases that came to my eye, even without me searching, had doubled from year to year
... 1 - 2 - 4 ... And had a case of manslaughter been the
beginning of this row of events, the cause for gay kids to die then
turned to those kids ending their own lives.
And this latter tragic turn, in my view, is co-caused
by the fact that the intensity and brutality of bullying rises
steadily. Bullies have less and less inhibitions to torture victims in
more and more brutal ways. Apart from physical and mental harassment,
cyberbullying in various forms adds to the picture. The pressure on
victims rises, gets more and more intense and refined - and hearts
and souls break.
The second reason I realized was there, is the fact that victims have to face more and more brutal abuse, but still stand alone in their distress and daily struggles.
Although
everybody knows such things happen ... although everybody knows of
cases at his own school ... although everybody can imagine how terrible
it must be, to be trapped in that situation ... and although so many are genuinely moved and shaken by emotional and intense appeals like Ellen made them three years in a row ...
... there are still all of those out there who turn the blind eye, who do not come
to help when they see others being treated in unfair and brutal ways.
So many say that it is terrible what's going on, but obviously so many out there still don't realize that change does not come by itself!
Change comes ...
when victims are no longer left alone.
Change comes ...
when
the bully's strategy of separating his victim by a reign of terror
from every possible source of help and support (friends, teachers,
parents) does not work any more.
Change comes ...
when the victim does not have to seek for help themselves (and do not dare to, because the bully's scheme works!), but have allies on their side who are simply there
because they are needed, because things are going on that are not
right, and that no one has the right to do to another person.
Change comes ...
when the silent majority finally makes that leap of faith, and stands up for others - not by fighting back, but
- by simply being there
- by not looking away
- by being a witness (and not only a bystander)
- by being in the way
- by saying No
- by getting more help if necessary ...
from friends, teachers, the principal, parents, the police, or whoever else is needed.
No
one has to become a warrior here. Super heroes are not needed ... and,
let's face it: Most of us won't look good in these flashy costumes!
But: There are
rules, regulations and laws against basically all of the things that
bullies do. Why are we afraid to call them in?
Victims are alone ...
Bullies are many ...
But the number of all the others is legion!
If all of us finally get to realizing this, change will come. If all of us start acting on what we all know is right, change will come.
And
then, there will be no more cases like the one of Jaheem's sister, who
not only lost her beloved brother, because he cold not stand living any
more, but one year later still also got bullied herself on Jaheem's
death.
When
all of us start doing those simple things that are necessary, the chain
of bullying can be broken. But: All of us are needed. It is a only a
small leap of faith for every single one of us, if we all are in on
this.
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep
Inside an ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
which is my contribution for the project that was created
by writer and columnist Dan Savage.
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Bullying, brutality and violence against gay kids and teenagers costs lives. Every year, and everywhere in the world.
In 2008, talkshow host Ellen de Generes took up the case of 15 year old Lawrence "Larry" King, an openly gay teenager who had been killed by another teen, just for being gay. Ellen sent out a intense message on her show, calling out for equality, and against ignorance, prejudices and intolerance.
In 2008, this one case was all over the news. In 2009, though, it was the suicide of already two kids that everyone spoke about:
Carl-Joseph Walker-Hoover and Jaheem Herrera, who killed themselves, as they could not take any more suffering from anti-gay picking, teasing and bullying at school.
Carl-Joseph and Jaheem were only 11 years old.
Again, Ellen set an example, by taking up this devastatingly sad topic on her TV show, and by sending out a sensitive and all the same strong and emotional signal to all her viewers.
But 2010 saw even more suicides for anti-gay bullying in the media than the years before. Within only a few weeks and months, four gay teenagers ended their lives, and two more victims were to be mourned still, after Ellen, yet again, spoke out on her show.
With a campaign named "It gets better", initiated by writer and columnist Dan Savage, gay people upload videos, and by that step up and send out a message to kids and teens that it's worth to cling to life, because it holds so much in store for them, and to "tough it out" during High School, during which so much bullying happens.
But this message, this prospect of a better future, is not enough.
All of us need to start taking action, here and now, to support gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender kids and teenagers who get offended, abused and terrorized because they are "different" ... just as well as any other kid that suffers from being bullied needs our help!
We must help them, so they can make it to that future, living their lives and realizing their potential.
We must do all in our power, to stop bullying now!
This is one of my two contributions to the IT GETS BETTER Project that was initiated on September 21st 2011 by columnist and gay rights activist Dan Savage, in response to the suicide of 15 year old Billy Lucas, from Indiana, who ended his life due to being massively bullied for being gay. Billy's death was one of four cases of bullycide that have been reported about on the news during the last months.
Savage opened a YouTube channel "where Members of the LGBT community upload videos that explain how their lives got better after high school. The idea is to reassure teens who are being bullied because of their sexual orientation that the harassment won’t last forever."
(quoted from http://mashable.com/2010/10/05/youtube-projects-social-good/ )
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Well, I find the basic idea good, but it leaves a big gap open, that for me (if I were a gay teen struggling with a life full of harassment and abuse every day) would make it hard to come up with new strength and courage, to face my every day misery, without any idea of how to make it through all of that, except "tough it out - it's worth it, because life will get so much better one day."
Therefore, my own video is meant especially to those kids and teens out there who do not bully themselves, and who also are no bullying victims.
I believe that we do not enough, if we only try to send out a message to kids, teenagers and even young adults, who get bullied for either their sexual orientation, or also e.g. for belonging to an ethnic minority or for any other reason, and this message being that life will probably get better some time in the future.
We must offer concrete help and support today, and by that every one of us is needed, too, to do our part for this above mentioned promise will come true!
This means that "the silent majority" has to find the courage in themselves
to make a stand against bullies,
and become allies of those who are victims of abuse and harassment today.
In the wake of a revent series of
several gay American teens
committing suicide
after being harassed and bullied
for being gay
Ellen de Generes sent out this message on her show
on September 30th 2010.
As The Ellen Show is being produced by Warner Bros.,
this video was blocked one day later
for YouTube viewers from Germany
and many other countries outside the US
on copyright grounds.
So I decided to upload this video on my YouTube channel,
like many other YouTubers already did,
to make it accessible for those
who are being kept out by Warner Bros'
narrowminded policy.
!