"... according to Leviticus ..." (Web Find)

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So, this one here is not new, and it's also not written by me. I found it on the web a few days ago, and I decided to re-post it - just like obviously many before me have done.

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Dr Laura Schlessinger

Just to explain: This is a letter written a few years ago to an American talk radio host, Dr Laura (= Laura Schlessinger), who continuously drew a lot of criticism on herself by making very reactionary statements on various sensitive topics.

The trigger for this letter was Dr Laura's conviction that homosexuality cannot be accepted, as it was defined in the Bible as an abomination.

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You know ... People are crazy about updating, right?

Always getting the latest iPhone and iPad, OS for computers start becoming outdated the second they are being published, and fashion trends change every few months.

So, what about remodelling religious beliefs once in a while, and heave them two thousand years into the present time? If certain blockheads don't manage to do so, they indeed should start living by the Book in every aspect. Either, or ... can't have it both ways!

Me, I remember the story about Jesus asking his followers whether the Sabbath was made for man, or whether man was made for the Sabbath, and him then doing what was needed in that situation. Well, that's my kind of approach!

Okay, here comes the letter - hope you enjoy!

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Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination .... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1.
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.

A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2.
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3.
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev. 15:19-24.

The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5.
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6.
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7.
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.

I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8.
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9.
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10.
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.

Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)?

Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M Kauffman
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.)

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